I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
