She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
