i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
