I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
What happened to fro yo and sex?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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