Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
