I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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