you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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