I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
