I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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