I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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