I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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