wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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