i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
