Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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