A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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