i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
