she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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