All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
