Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
