you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
