How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
