how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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