My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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