Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
