hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
