when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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