besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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