gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
