Will you blow on my dice?
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
