I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
