so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize