I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
