Capitaan dildo arrescate!
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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