You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
dude i'm inner monologue high
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
