so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize