so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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