your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
