just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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