This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Sober January is a disaster.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
