dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
