theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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