ugly people sure do ruin things
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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