i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Randomize
