He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Please don't give away my fajitas
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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