you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
