i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I skipped work to stalk him.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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