yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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