So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
