who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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