the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
