his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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