She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
