im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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