shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
