I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
