Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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