LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
