Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize