that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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